Here is my car:
Sometimes I think my car is lonely. Occasionally it just decides "I'm bored. I want to go to the shop, it's time for something to break." Do I not give it enough attention? Maybe it found out that I was going to start running and took offense. I even park it next to the other Malibu that I'm pretty sure it likes:
(Speaking of - Malibu [can I call you Mal?], you know that little scratch on your front bumper? Chicks dig scars. Trust me on this one)
But it gets moody sometimes. First it was the anti-theft system (caused the car to randomly not start when I turned the key). Then it was the windshield (still haven't fixed it). Now the fuel gauge doesn't seem to be displaying anything under 1/4 tank. And then there's that darn front tire that always seems to be low on air. I think that's the car's way of always keeping my attention on it. If I could hear the air seeping out of the tire, it would sound like whining. What an attention-whore.
But now...it decided to up the ante. This is what a car spring is supposed to look like:
See how the spring sits nicely on the plate? That's a finely tuned mechanical device. A work of art. Unfortunately, this is what mine looked like a couple of weeks ago:
You know what I see when I look at that picture? A hole in my wallet with all of my money falling out of it.
Listen, Mal. I like you. We've had some good times. But you're so high-maintenance. I'd like to be friends, so please try and scale it back a little.
-Your friend, Aaron
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